Early Morning Missionary

Make-up vs. War Paint

2012-02-20T00:20:00.000-08:00

Being the good Alabama girl that I was, I used to put on loads of make-up before ever letting anyone even get a glimpse of my face in the morning. Blessing of blessings, a few days into our marriage my husband freed me from my make-up bondage with a casual statement about how much better I looked without it. Yea!

This morning was tough. Really tough. It's time to go back to America tough (like that would solve our problems ;)). We are doing something something right now that is our way of powerfully honoring and fighting against Satan. And Satan is writhing in his death throes for this area of our life even worse than I am writhing with the added stress of dealing with this issue while living in the stress factory that is Cambodia - believe you me, my writhing is bad; my had is still sore where I smacked the wall in sheer frustration over a minor problem earlier today.

I need to start my make-up routine again, except I am considering war paint...It is going a war for 86 more day...a war for the rest of my life. I need to be ready. We all need to be ready.

So I leave you with this dialogue from Ocean's Twelve which I am embarrassed I have watched but am glad for this line...because I am sure you are all wondering about the something. So paint two black lines under your eyes and get your spear, have a laugh at the quote, then get back to fighting!

Linus Caldwell: Hey, can I ask you something? You ever notice that...
Rusty Ryan: If you're gonna ask if you can ask me a question, give me time to respond. Unless you're asking rhetorically, in which case the answer is obvious - yes.
Linus Caldwell: Okay, can I ask you...
Rusty Ryan: Yes.
Linus Caldwell: Thanks. You ever notice that Tess looks...
Rusty Ryan: Ooh, don't ever ask that. Ever. Seriously. Not to anyone, especially not to her.
Linus Caldwell: Wait, why not?
Rusty Ryan: Look, it's not in my nature to be mysterious. But I can't talk about it and I can't talk about why.
[walks off]
Linus Caldwell: Oooooooooo.

https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/Savage-Face-War-Paint-II/1440636 :Photo Credit

Brief Comment on Elizabeth's Post

2012-02-12T01:40:00.000-08:00

Elizabeth could have mentioned how people cut in line, cashiers have to wait on the managers to check larger bills, items are often not in stock, and the night crowd is unbelievably large and choose items incredibly slowly. I find it funny that Elizabeth posted this last night because I was at the other Lucky that same night...exhausting! I told Chris that groceries was the hardest part about living in Cambodia for me...that is, besides the heat. =)

I know Elizabeth is not complaining but explaining. She paints such a great picture of the experience. I often wonder why I can't do all that I did in the States, why living here is so different and difficult. What she has written makes me feel a bit more normal. Chris and I have been discussing why something that is seemingly simple (like telling people Bible stories for him and buying spaghetti sauce for me) can be so difficult. What's wrong with us?!

photo credit: http://ajt.iki.fi/blog/media/phnom_penh_lucky_market_medium.jpg

Our struggles here have brought me to the end of myself and opened my eyes to a truth I might have ignored in America about myself: I rely on my own strength in just about every area of my life.

I have to do this.

I have to fix this.

I have to conquer this.

The problem is that over and over again I cannot. I cannot. I do not need to look to God for only those big struggles, those big life issues. I need His strength to do the next load of laundry, to bear the next power outage, to resist the next shout at my children, and, yes, to survive Lucky Market. I am so glad God continues to throw these "little" things at me to teach me reliance on Him!

A Facebook Post from Elizabeth Trotter - My Teammate

2012-02-12T01:36:00.000-08:00

I braved Lucky on a Saturday evening. I have a love-hate relationship with Lucky. For one, I am very thankful there's even a grocery store here and I am fully funded and can shop at it. That I love. But the experience of Lucky is something I could do without.

I fill my CVS-size shopping cart to the brim while people stare and point. They touch Faith and laugh when she cringes. The carts don't maneuver well when empty, and certainly not when full. Many items are not in English, or only partly in English, so finding what you want is tough, and deciding how many to get is tougher. About halfway through my list, my brain stops working. I am already pretty embarrassed that I'm white. Additionally I have a full cart (Cambodians tend to go to the market daily and buy less). It's only enough food for a family of 6 big eaters for one week, though. I branch out this week to the produce section. Every other time I am too exhausted after picking out the staples. . . Next week I might foray into beef and chicken.

At the very end, with Faith whining at the bananas I squeezed into her seat, and with people staring at me, I pick up my last item -- the kind of mop and bucket my house helper needs. I push the overflowing cart with one hand, and pull the rolling bucket and mop with the other, through impossibly narrow aisles to the checkout counter, where I hope and pray Jonathan Trotter is done with his shopping elsewhere in the mall. He has the cash, you see. He arrives, I avoid crying for the time being. A total of 4 ladies help me at this point. When the cashier can't find the price on the cheese, another emplyee runs to the refridgerator section, and when she returns with the price, speaking in Khmer, they all laugh hysterically. Jonathan pays, and we leave.

When we arrive home, after unloading and getting the kids a snack b/c it is now past bedtime (meaning Jonathan had to drive in the dark which is always stressful), we discover the source of the ant problem I've had this week. Ants in my precious brown rice (have I mentioned whole grains are hard to find here??). Plus some other creepy looking critter. So I cry, "mommy, mommy, mommy," and I'm not sure if I'm talking about myself or my own mother. We clean out the pantry and dump the rice containter, which is obviously not airtight. I take care of the mess while Jonathan reads Narnia to the kids.

What a day.

A Mother's Cup

2012-01-26T05:00:00.000-08:00

Upturned eyes means spilling love

overflowing from upturned hearts

cascading down through generations

a waterfall of His marvelous love

Dripping, trickling, and ever downpouring

as gazes continue to look His way

Filling and refilling the river never ceasing

Such are we: blessed cups of clay

"But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those who love me and obey my commands." Exodus 20:6

photo credit: Note @ www.photogapphy.com

Robbed!

2011-10-09T22:51:00.000-07:00

No. We have had no thieves at our house save the birds that always manage to notice that the bananas are ripe before I do. Truth be told, I had actually robbed myself.

While very few missionary wife books exist, the ones I got my hands on all recommended having a helper. Strong suggestions for help come from some good missionary wife and mother blogs and websites which also include comical details of the trials that will no doubt occur when hiring a local and expecting her to know American ways of cleaning and washing.We've laughed off (and, at times, cried about) various incidents we've had over the past few years with what has turned out to be a long line of helpers. In all honesty, I have been thankful for these women who have served our family. These sweet ladies cleaning and cooking meals while Chris and I struggled through language study, culture shock, and helping our kids through the transition of moving has, in most ways, been a reason we've been able to survive.

One of Our Sweet Helpers

Peace in our home has alluded us, however, and, just recently, we finally figured out the problem: our helper. A fantastic cook and cleaner, friendly and loving with us and our children, dependable and practical...what more could we ask for?!

The answer came during our Hungry Ghost holiday season this year. Our helper, like most Cambodians, headed out to the countryside to be with family for a week, and we were left to fend for ourselves. I shuddered as I considered a week without her. The missionary lifestyle just takes more time: Shopping for food at many locations only to have to change your meal plan because none of those places has any flour, more mold and mildew in our household than inhabits the entirety of the North American continent, dusting jobs that seem so large it is often hard not to burst into tears as you take out a can of Pledge and a grab several handfulls of rags. The list goes on and on, and I grew more discourage as I thought of our holiday "break."

What ensued during that week brought with it the realization that our home had gained not only a calm peacefulness, but our motivation, energy, and level of satisfaction reached heights we never dreamed possible! Chris and I bonded over household work in the early mornings and the evenings, feeling a delicious sense of ownership and empowerment. After work, Chris would come home and could see the hard work I had put into the day, encouraging me and thanking me - then picking up a broom or rag to help with something I had been unable to get to (I'll take a moment to say that I DO realize I have and extraordinarily wonderful husband).

Wonderful Chris Helping in Our First Home

What, we wondered, had brought about this drastic change? The only answer was our helper's absence.

Then it hit me like a lightening bolt. Like many moms, I had struggled with not seeing the results of my parenting day in and day out. It is hard to keep eternal perspective as we raise our precious ones. It seems, however, that God in His gracious wisdom has provided a way we can see results every day to keep us motivated and encouraged. It comes in a very unattractive package and is often resented and stressed over: Housework!

In having a helper, I had robbed myself of the satisfaction of daily results. Who would have thought?! Now, as I am doing dishes and laundry in between child-rearing and child-enjoying, I have the blessing of seeing results in my day to day life. When I feel discouraged that this child or that still has rebellion in this or that part of his or her heart, I keep encouraging and correcting them, sharing God's grace with them, then go wipe the counter clean and marvel how it could have been so filthy 30 seconds before.

I guess cleaning is a bit like training a child. By trusting God for His help and His strength, we keep obeying and trying. Before we know it, that child or that counter is pure and clean because of God working through us.

I'm so glad that I need not rob myself of this joy, neither the joy of raising my children nor the joy of being in charge of my own home. I think I'll go wash some dishes!

Please Note: I am NOT saying it is wrong to have a helper! I believe God fashions and form our families to function in many different ways.

Family: Teaching Christ's Love Without Saying a Word

2011-10-03T00:10:00.000-07:00

While hanging laundry this morning, I overheard our grandmother next door talking about our family to a young woman. Just to clarify, “overhearing” takes no effort with neighbors in Cambodia. In point of fact, this particular neighbor can hear just about everything we say and do as well. “They have many children, and they are about to have another one” she said. I gathered who she was talking about as I tried to bend over to pick up a rag I had dropped which was proving difficult because I could not see it for my growing stomach. “But they love them so much. They are such beautiful children. Their hearts are full.”

To our shame, we do not always speak gently or calmly to our vivacious children, and grandmother has to know this. I have worried from time to time about the validity of our witness when she has most certainly heard an outburst of anger from me over spilled sugar or pancake mix in the bathroom. It really is amazing what a kid can think to do with a bidet and a bit of flour.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. I Cor. 12:9. Thankfully, God works on our hearts daily, washing us of selfishness and any number of shortcomings.

Through His power and despite our weaknesses, we could have no greater witness for Christ's love than our family. In this culture and context, our family speaks volumes to all we meet. I am just now able to start seeing and understanding how our friends, neighbors, and perfect strangers view us, and I have felt compelled to share how the Christian family in Cambodia and in any country in the world can bless the nations through their witness because the Christian family is different.

First play in the rain

Khmer families struggle with the same sins that rot our families in America, just in different ways. One of the most obvious struggles seems to be that of favoritism: preferring one child over another. We are often asked which child we sleep with (which translates into which child do you love the most) and which child we think is more beautiful or clever. We have fended off these questions, shielded our children, praised them equally, and even contradicted what people have said while our quizzical friends have looked on wondering what all the fuss was about, even going so far as to call out their own children to demonstrate to us how to compare. Through God's grace, after two and a half years, people are praising our children equally and have quit criticizing them all together. We are different because we love without discretion (Galatians 3:28). Our neighbors know this not because we have told them Jesus said so, but because they have see how we love our children.

Anywhere from one to six men sit outside our gate every day on their motos available to taxi someone to market or wherever else they might choose to go. Chris has learned a lot from and about these men, and the favorite topic...their adulterous relationships. I'll be honest: it has been very difficult for me to treat these men with respect knowing what they are doing to their families in full view of their wives, children, and peers. I have had to “count to ten” a few times as they have offered to help Chris find a girlfriend. Smiling but firm, Chris has modeled fidelity to these men by coming home before dark day after day (these men know our comings and goings quite well, and I am pretty sure they have figured out that I go somewhere with A/C as soon as the power goes out). Now, our moto taxi drivers tease Chris about his girlfriend when they see us going out together, and that girlfriend is me! They know we are different because we are faithful (Matt. 19:4-6), and they have not heard a single sermon on keeping wedding vows.

We LOVE babies!

Our growing family has not only left our American friends scratching their heads but also our Khmer friends. Nongovernmental organizations have proven very effective here in reducing the birth rate and in proliferating the view that children are a burden, something that keeps you from happiness or being able to buy that Lexus (the ultimate status symbol in our capital city of Phnom Penh). For most of our neighbors, taking preventative measures for pregnancy has little to do with monetary poverty and a whole lot to do with spiritual poverty. The shocked look that crosses people's faces when we tell them we care for the children ourselves and would love for God to give us more is a great practice in self-control. I have been known to burst out laughing at the incredulity. When our neighbors see Chris taking a child or two to work or to pay bills, when we take our kids to the playground on Saturdays, when we accept more children from our Father, people see we are different because our children are a blessing to us (Ps. 127:3-5). We really do not eve have to mention this fact because it is evident in our actions.

As we consider these things and so many more, we realize how, despite our shortcomings in ministry, our struggling and fledgling attempts to reach the hardened hearts of our dear ones here, God has been working hard by speaking through the differences in our family. I cannot tell you how many wistful looks from women when they see the way Chris treats me or the way I hug my sweet children have led to conversations about our own weaknesses and Christ's amazing power. My neighbors do not doubt my humanity, but, to them, our family expresses the supernatural – and they want to know how to be different, too. Our continued prayer for our family and yours is that God will continue to keep us from conforming to the culture around us (the world) and continue being a light in the darkness through the powerful witness of the Christian family. May He make your neighbors talk about you and keep your hearts full!

Casey M. Allison
Missionary Wife and Mother in Phnom Penh, Cambodia

2011 Plan - A Little of a Late Start

2011-02-08T02:57:00.000-08:00

I feel so blessed to be living here in Cambodia. From the age of 16 and up, I prayed that God would allow me to serve Him in this country among these dear friends. The funny thing is that I am, due to certain wonderful blessings, unable to carry out the mission I thought God had given to me oh-so-many years ago. It seems my desire to serve in Cambodia has served one purpose: to get the one who would be more effective here. Chris has conquered the language and become so understanding of the culture through God's grace that it leaves no doubt in my mind what my role is: helper.

Before the ripe old age of 16, I had always wanted to be a pioneer or a Native American, living off the land, making my own butter, and raising my girls to be homemakers and teaching my boys how to help in the home (while their daddy taught them things about tools and livestock and hard work).

It has now come to light that those dreams were not for naught. God has brought all those hopes and longings together in my life at last!

We have struggles to know how to help others, but, as we've been watching, we've learned that this agrarian society shows love and care through crops. If you have fruits trees, you give away some of your fruit to the poor or to your family and friends. It's not looked upon as a handout but a way to be a community and prevent waste.

Chickens and goats do well here and provide families with income or nutrition or both. Loaning livestock then being repaid by the firstborn is a great opportunity to help people have a source of income and nutrition that will last.

While Chris serves, teaches, encourages, and prays, I am ready and excited to be at home to pray and to raise our children on our own little homestead that serves not only our family but our community. My kids are going to be able to learn (after Mommy learns) to grow food and care for chickens and goats then learn how to share what God gives (it's so visible on a farm) with others.

I look at this year with such excitement and a twinge of fatigue! I see my little center, a dream from the Lord of Life, befriending and helping women in the joyous thing that is childbirth - no big project, just love and care and sharing the awe of new life. I see our homestead developing and helping, and I see myself struggling with a lifestyle I have NEVER known. I see the visitors we're expecting, the little church of foreigners meeting in our living room, the visits with Khmers on our porch ...

I am so glad I am not in charge of my life. I'm glad my dreams are not wishes that my heart makes but seed planted by God for His use and His glory, that He allows me to enjoy.

So...February will be a month of organization and with March will come my first attempt at chickens!!!

Hallelujah - Not Just Another Hebrew Word

2011-01-24T05:21:00.000-08:00

My wonderful husband often remarks on how amazing it is while taking communion with the church to think about how many people, that very day, possibly that very moment, are communing together in celebration, remembering our Redeemer. In this stage of ministry, teaching at preaching points on Sundays and taking our kids to international Sunday school for some English and time with kiddos who are taught basic, wonderful Christian principles (like thou shalt not hit thy younger peer with a stick for annoying you), we have desperately missed the weekly communion that is our tradition. We cannot wait to celebrate weekly again with, Lord willing, Khmer believers and (Lord willing in just 11 months!) our teammates! What a privilege and joy to be a part of something so sacred, something so communal, something that has become timeless.

Reading over at Like A Warm Cup of Coffee, I have been meditating on the words I use and the words I think - the latter of which seems to be in need of a dire shot of grace from the Lord. Missing communion and pondering words, Our Father brought me some encouragement today as I sang little Bible songs with the girls on a fun moto drive around the back roads of our neighborhood:

"God is so good - Hallelujah!
God is so good - Hallelujah!
God is so good. He's so good to me!"

Ok. ok. So we sing the Kenyan version. We find it much more fitting for our "African" member of the family.

But it was the word "hallelujah" that squeezed my heart as we sang. How many believers of the Way have uttered that word over the years? How many today? How many will tomorrow? I am saying (or singing, in this case) a word that has passed through the lips of my brothers and sisters of ages past who are now shouting it before the throne of Jesus in eternal worship with eternal joy.

In Cambodia, I struggle with the urge to use common language instead of king language when talking about our faith. Cambodians need to know that God is Abba Father. I have no doubt their struggle in belief will not be a struggle to fear but a struggle to know love, His love for them personally. In my naivete and youthful enthusiasm, I have considered throwing out all Hebrew words that don't have meaning to our dear Khmer people and, often, to our dear American friends.

But how can I steal the opportunity for them to join in the chorus that started in His time, in His day, when He fulfilled the hope of man and the desire of God?

I won't.

I'm ready to say, sing, and shout HALLELUJAH with the cloud of witnesses past, present, and future, communing with them in praise and adoration.

The Fear of the Lord

2011-01-14T05:09:00.000-08:00

While visiting with some of our closet neighbor friends, two young women, skirt-and helmet-clad, drove by on a scooter. The neighbors pointed them out, saying they had come by to teach them about God.

Really? I thought.

They neighbors went on to tell about how people are always coming by to teach them about God.

What?!

Then, one of the ladies mentioned that some Christians had recently given her a ride home from the provinces. She off-handedly stated that her older sister is a Christian and had a headache when they were there.

Since she was a Christian, our neighbor said, she knew what to do. She prayed. Do you know how to pray?

I have to say that I was dumbfounded. Had there been some incredibly disastrous lingual misunderstanding here? Did these neighbors, who we have been talking with for the last 2 years, not know we were Christians here to tell them the Good News!?

(This was such a Pineapple Story moment.)

Thankfully, I found my tongue and told her, indeed, I know how to pray. We pray about everything, but God doesn’t just give us what we want, I told them.

Why not? They asked.

Palm God is the Master God. He holds life and death in His hand. He can give it, and He can take it. He decides. I said, feeling a bit like someone else was talking (and I think He was).

I have made this statement three times in this country when prompted by the Spirit. Each time the result has been the same, but I did not recognize it for what it was until this instance when I saw the look on Sombo and Chantha’s faces.

They had the fear of the Lord - deep, awed fear – the kind of fear that allows a brief glimpse of Satan’s knowledge of the power of God, a deep wound of memory remembering how He crushed his head and brought salvation to all mankind…and might be about to do it again in these human hearts.

Oddly enough, I went home discouraged, feeling like I had not been able to communicate well in Khmer and feeling like, with all my responsibilities as a mom, I had no way to bring the Gospel to these people. They are ready, no doubt, but they told me of all the contradicting things they were being told. They seemed confused at why the story wasn’t the same from everyone.

(Indeed, why isn’t it?)

I spent a few moments praying while the children played outside with the neighborhood kids, and then it hit me:

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom" (Prov. 1:7).

Dear, Lord,

Let this be the beginning. Do Your work despite us – all of us!

Amen.

Missionary Life Videos: Bugs!

2011-01-14T04:50:00.000-08:00

We Speak to Nations

2011-01-09T16:17:00.000-08:00

Miracles and Destruction - Last Week

2010-12-30T01:22:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure I can write about this.

The ache in my heart is so great and the depth of my shock and emotional fatigue have left me feeling like I'm living in a dream. Please forgive us for not writing the emails for Mission:Launch we had promised. We have been in the midst of a battle since this seven week period began.

Christmas morning in Cambodia

It all began on a wonderful Christmas morning. It was the best yet, just our family laughing and playing together. Just as I put the sourdough biscuits in the oven, our sweet grandmother from down the street (Rady's grandmother), brought our produce from the market. I asked how Rady was feeling, and she said she was having a little bleeding and was worried. I went down the road to see her, fear so evident on her face. She had gone to a clinic the night before where they had preformed an ultrasound. They told her the baby was dead and that she had a large tumor pushing on her uterus. The tumor was very visible on the ultrasound but so was the "sac" for the baby. After examining her and asking questions, I felt we should get a second opinion, so I dropped my dear family off at a friend's Christmas party, and Rady, her mother, and I went to a nearby clinic. The doctor confirmed what the other clinic had said after viewing the ultrasound and then referred us to a clinic where they could clean out Rady's uterus and decide how to proceed about the tumor.

Rady was heartbroken. In all honesty, so was I. Wasn't this the baby we had prayed for? Wasn't this the child who God would use to convince them all of His power over life and death?

Rady's Grandmother and younger sister

At the next clinic, we had to wait for some time for the doctor to return. We spoke with several in the waiting room, my heart breaking as Rady told of her miscarriage with a look of anguish in her eyes. It was then that I decided, even though my faith was so weak, I should keep praying. I'm ashamed to say, however, that I resisted the Lord in telling Rady that God would save her baby. We went into the ultrasound and the doctor told us there was no problem. No tumor. No miscarriage. He prescribed progesterone for the bleeding, then sent us home.

The two ultrasounds were completely different!

"Why are they different?" Rady asked me on the way home, and I knew I could be silent no more.

"I believe God healed you to show Himself to you." I told her.

And, indeed, He had. He had shown Himself to both of us, Rady's family, and the girls in the waiting room.

Melanie after the Christmas Movie Party

That night, we had over 50 people in our home eating and watching the story of Christmas in Khmer on a borrowed screen with a borrowed projector. After such a long day, we were exhausted. Everything imaginable went wrong: The sound was no good, we ran out of food (at least they liked my cooking!), the first movie was boring to city folk who watch TV all the time, our Christmas candy was stolen, no one stayed through the second movie, and Rady's mom felt so indebted to us that she did all the dishes. We went to bed tired and discouraged.

The next day we received word of Tawn's accident. He died that afternoon.

I first met Tawn when I came in 2003. I spoke often with a certain young woman about him. She later became his wife. They have served faithfully for many years.

We have been going to the funeral for the past two days. It was a blessing to see so many, some who were on less than friendly terms, come together. As we walked behind the funeral cart singing hymns through our neighborhood, even passing by some of our non-Christian neighbors, I wondered if God would use this tragedy for His good. Doesn't he work all things together for good?

Tawn in 2003

Walking back from the funeral that first evening, we stopped in the dark to speak with some neighbors. Rady's family has accused their of causing a moto accident that injured Rady last month. They are quite angry at each other. We encouraged them to forgive. They laughed. I know they think we're crazy.

The next day, grandmother told us Rady was not doing well. They had sent for me, but we had been at the funeral. When I arrived, Rady told me she had some more bleeding. She had gone to a clinic where, despite the little amount of blood and not doing a new ultrasound, they proceeded to clean out her uterus.

Rady had not had enough bleeding to confirm a miscarriage and had not passed any tissue. She was not ill nor was she in pain. I am convinced she had not had a miscarriage.

I was so sickened after my visit with Rady. How strong are the forces of evil in this country! Whether the doctor at the clinic was driven by greed (the procedure cost $40 - two months wages) or ignorance or whether Satan used another motivation, we'll never know. Please pray for this family, that God will be revealed in another way. We KNOW God is more powerful than any evil force, but we also know how our dear Khmer friends choose to follow Satan's lies, choose to be in his bondage.

The next day, we received a call that a dear Christian friend of ours was considering leaving his wife. Satan is working here, and he does not want to release his hold on the people. Pray fervently for freedom for our friends! Pray also for us that the Holy Spirit will give us wisdom, discernment, peace, and perseverance. Pray that God will sustain our hearts that feel like breaking over the work of the prince of darkness. We rejoice evermore knowing how beautiful and wonderful the Light is in the face of such darkness.

Isaiah 9:2

Missionary Life Videos: Laundry

2010-12-17T22:46:00.000-08:00

Missionary Life Videos: Noise!!!

2010-12-17T06:43:00.000-08:00

Missionary Life Videos: Fun Treats for Heat

2010-12-17T04:27:00.000-08:00

"I Have Made Fire" ~Tom Hanks in Cast Away

2010-12-16T03:30:00.000-08:00

Granola: Mother-in-law's Recipe

All you amazing mothers out there won't appreciate this, but I had such a wonderful moment tonight. I made stuffed green peppers for the first time! I'm really on a roll lately. I made up my first batch of granola a few days ago and scored big time with a wonderful pasta dish when we had guests.

I had been feeling down for a while. So much to learn. So much to improve. God prompted me to take the time to compile a list of what I have learned or improved in since we arrived in Cambodia. Much to my amazement, it was so long!!! My heart is so encouraged. God is very good at encouragement. How often did He remind the Israelites to remember? I encourage you to remember today and to know that God will forever be working on you, sanctifying you.

A certain scene in the movie Cast Away gets me laughing every time. Tom Hanks on his lonely island has finally figured out how to make fire. He get one roaring and shouts to the ocean, "I," he gestures vividly, "have made fire!"

Well, I gestured vividly to my Lord over my pan of granola, "I have made cereal!"

Thank you, Father, for never giving up on us and always growing us and teaching us...even if it is only a silly thing like cooking. Amen.

Missionary Life Videos: Dish Washing

2010-12-15T06:33:00.000-08:00

Missionary Life Videos: Stocking Up on Bananas from Our Backyard

2010-12-15T06:07:00.000-08:00

Midwifery at Christmas

2010-12-09T04:54:00.000-08:00

After having a wonderful and blessed natural pregnancy and childbirth with Marcus as well as finally taking the time to learn about all the amazing ways God reveals himself through the process of childbirth (why didn't I learn all this before? Oh, well. The third time is the charm!), I started seeking the Lord on how I could serve Him here in Cambodia through midwifery. I spoke with an NGO who said it was one of the biggest health needs in the country, especially as it relates to prenatal care. I spoke to a midwife who said I knew enough to do prenatal care and should get started. Finally, I found someone who had an extra supply of prenatal vitamins. The vitamins sat on the shelf for a month, my ideas and plans became less exciting, and I settled into my role at helpmeet and homemaker following our furlough. Then, my dear friend, Rady, became pregnant. You can see that amazing story here and begin praying please! I walked down the dirt road with a sack of prenatal vitamins and now I have three "clients!" I told them I wouldn't be able to give them more vitamins. I said I could teach them a few things about prenatal care and listen to their concerns. I explicitly told them I was not a professional even though I could point them to professional help. I even asked them if they could help me understand Khmer culture as it relates to child-bearing.

God, not me, has made this happen. The Author of Life has given each of these women a chance to see Him through this experience, and I am so honored He has chosen to use me as a tool. Would you pray for this ministry, for the women's physical and spiritual health and that of their children?

I can hardly wait to share the stories (after I learn a bit more vocabulary and how to manage checkups with three little ones in tow!) of Mary, of Jesus being more in a stable, of the King who would become a babe to be our Saviour! What a blessing to remember, to know, this season the beautiful truth of Life.

So...God Started a War...and I'm Nervous!

2010-12-03T06:03:00.000-08:00

My wonderful man gave me 3.5 hours off today to complete some much needed tasks: getting a haircut, buying a highchair, grocery shopping at a store a good distance from our house, fixing my exercise bike, getting a shirt altered and a patch for some pretty worn jeans. Whew! What an afternoon, but nothing compares to a small bit of conversation I had with a dear elderly woman at my friend, the seamstress', house.

First, some background. We attended Rady's (the seamstress) wedding our first year in Cambodia. Upon meeting her, she had quickly asked me to clarify some things she had heard about Jesus. We've had wonderful, religious conversations ever since. After a Khmer woman marries, everyone holds their breath until she gets pregnant. The longer the wait, the more time the husband has to consider taking on a mistress, which many often do regardless. Rady's grandmother, a beautiful woman who I love dearly, began going daily to the wat to make merit for Rady. She once even offered me the fruit she had received from the monks which was supposed to offer health and fertility. I declined, telling them I did not believe in its power.

After that conversation, I felt God calling me to wage a war, telling Rady that she would have a baby boy from God in His timing since He is the Author of life. I couldn't do it. I had no faith and was fearful; if she has a girl or does not get pregnant she will never believe in Christ, right? Well...

God does not let His plans be hindered! Rady told me she was pregnant today. I told her I had been praying she would have a baby boy. Right after I told her that, her grandmother came up and told me she would have a girl (she had not heard my comment). Rady informed grandma that I said she would have a boy. I have a feeling Rady sees the spiritual implications of this: the Christian versus the Buddhist.

...and, boy, am I scared! I can't believe the pit in my stomach! Where is my faith? God has forced my hand, and now I am even more fearful. I find myself asking, "Who will prevail in this "war": the spirits or God?"

Do I sound like a Christian to you?! I remind myself of the missionary of the Pineapple Story whose people one day told him, after he had decided to stop trying to keep the people from stealing his pineapples, that he had finally become a Christian. Ha! Are our people, after having heard how wonderful Christians are from us, wondering if they will ever get to meet one?!

This situation is among many that have cut me to my heart since we have been in Cambodia. Do I really believe in God's power? Do I believe He did all the miracles the Bible says He did? Do I believe God still has power today?

Yes. Quaking in my boots and wondering what is going to happen with the baby (and how many more weeks until we can find out?!?!?), I believe - somewhere in my heart of hearts.

Do you?

My M&Ms in November

2010-11-29T05:41:00.000-08:00

Our Sweet Blessings This Month

The Truth is Stubborn

2010-11-26T18:32:00.000-08:00

I read a great article by Elisabeth Elliot speaking about abortion. She asks the following question:

“Is [the fetus] an object with no life of its own, a bit of tissue which belongs to a woman who has the right to do with it what she chooses?”

It struck me (or maybe God struck me) with the idea that maybe I feel that way about my children. No, I would never dream of murdering them in my womb, but how often have I done with them as I chose? The other night after a battling day where all four of us struggled, I chose to act in anger, speaking harshly to my dear girls.

Elliot quotes: "No truth," wrote Hannah Arendt, "that crosses someone's profit, ambition, or lust, is permissible. Unwelcome facts possess an infuriating stubbornness that nothing can move except plain lies."

She goes on to say, “These are the unwelcome facts, but they are infuriatingly stubborn.”

The fact is my children are precious, God given blessings that I have no right to treat poorly in anger. The fact is I chose to be angry. I can make all the excuses in the world, but the facts stubbornly remain.

“Be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to wrath.”

God has encouraged me in the past few days to take a long, hard look at several behaviors … well, let’s just state the facts … sins in my life that I have excused. God, in His grace and mercy, in His quest to make us holy for His glory, is “infuriatingly stubborn,” and I am so glad. I am so glad He is taking the time and effort to mold me and make me into what He created me to be.

As we celebrate Thanksgiving today (a little late since we’re not in America), I want to thank our Lord and Savior for His refining work in all of us. May the work show through in our everyday plodding, and may we never resent it.

~Casey

Thanksgiving in Cambodia

2010-11-26T02:19:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and more than once my heart has tried to imagine the cool breezes and beautiful colors of Autumn. My mother's side of the family always had a big meal together with all the cousins playing games. Such wonderful memories!

Last year, I tried to recreate my family's tradition as much as possible. This year, however, I had decided to embrace Cambodia into our Thanksgiving fun. Item Number 1 on the list is our "Thankfulness Tree." No red maple leaves for us!

Happy Thanksgiving from the Tropics!


Our Palm Tree of Thankfulness

Recipes with an Asian Flair!!!

2010-11-24T06:47:00.000-08:00

Here are some links to great recipes we have tried lately. What a blessing to enjoy the fruits and vegetables God provides in Cambodia!

PS: Sometimes we modify or make items from scratch ;)

Chicken and Pasta in a Mango Cream Sauce

Mango Chicken Curry

Chicken and Pumpkin Lasagna

Chicken Honey Nut Stir Fry

Satan's Hold

2010-11-24T06:16:00.000-08:00

Marcus and I (Casey) went to the Russian Hospital to visit and pray with victims of the stampede that killed 350+ people at the end of Water Festival Monday night. Since the hospital is far from the river, there were fewer patients. With the help of my blue-eyed darling, we were able to speak with many of them. I had asked God to lead me to speak to those whose hearts might be softened or who needed a listening ear and the mercy of comfort, but I felt no leading for the first hour and a half. Everyone, as is normal for me when I have the children, wanted to know how old Marcus is and how it is that I speak Khmer - could this blonde child have a Khmer father??? :) Many asked me why I had come to the hospital, and I responded I was coming to meet a Friend and see what He was doing. As time passed, people began sharing their how they found out their children were hurt and how many people had died.

I had to pause a few times to collect my temper and remember that Khmer culture is different. People often smile and laugh when discussing horrible things. I, however, was in little mood to hear laughter over the number of dead young people. Thankfully, God gave me an extra measure of strength and self-control.

After some time, I wandered down a corridor that was empty except for a precious pair of aged farmers from the countryside. I felt God leading me to them and was greeted with such warm smiles and words of blessing.

“Why are you here, child?” they asked right away.

This time, God prompted me to answer differently than I had. “I’m here to pray for God to help those who are hurting.”

“Oh, that’s good. We’re Christians. We went to a Christmas holiday once,” they responded.
“How long have you believed?” I was excited!

“Well…we went to that party a year ago.” I got the picture they weren’t true believers, but I was so thankful they viewed The Way in such good light.

As we were chatting, a young doctor came up with a newspaper – more grotesque photographs of bodies and crowds. “You speak a lot of Khmer. Why are you here at the hospital?” he asked.

“I’m here to pray to God, My Master, to help the people who are sick.”

He smiled then pointed at a picture in the newspaper showing all the victims’ clothing and shoes that are still on the bridge where the stampede occurred. “Did God help them? If He is going to help people, He should help everyone.” He practically snarled. Never have I encountered such blatant anger and contempt in this country nor such a statement of belief in God from a non-Christian.

Before I could think (or maybe I wouldn’t have said it), I spoke loudly enough for all in the small crowd to hear, “God made life. He can give it, and He can take it.” People whispered amongst themselves. The young doctor scoffed and walked away. I continued to talk with the family then made my way home.

Since the tragedy, I have had such bad dreams, really just one bad dream over and over again. In my mind, I see the dead in their party clothes walking through our bedroom, pausing to look at us then continuing out. At the risk of sounding mystic, I have felt the presence of evil since that night. I had gone to buy something that evening at the “mall” after the kids went to bed, and Chris was working at home. The crowds were huge but none bigger than the group of about 100 craning their necks to see the small TV showing the blood and gore of Apocalypto at a video store. I felt nauseous thinking of the hold Satan has on people here. I still feel nauseous.

Our people feel the evil, too, though they just don’t know who they need to fear. All over the hospital were little shrines were set up to ward off the spirits of those who died, to keep them from coming and taking the people who had survived.

Before the stampede, Chris and I were discussing how promising mission works looks, at least in theory, in this country. Why, we asked ourselves, are the results of so much work little to none? Recovery from war, liberalizing of society, and improving infrastructure are great reasons why things should be going well, but, the truth is, Satan has a hold on this country that at times weakens my faith. I have started daily praying for a miracle. IT IS ONLY BY GOD’S HAND THAT THE KHMER PEOPLE WILL CALL HIM LORD AND SAVIOR.

Will you join us in prayer?

Recent News in Southeast Asia

2010-11-23T04:40:00.000-08:00

I am grateful to learn about and know how to pray for our part of the world. The following links have information near and dear to our hearts. Be warned, however, that some contain disturbing images or information.

Over 2,000 Aborted Fetuses Found at Thai Wat

Over 330 Dead in Cambodian Water Festival Stampede

Aung San Suu Kyi Released in Burma

Please pray for the Lord to bless Southeast Asia with His peace and mercy. May He rule in the hearts of its people.

The Son of a Believer: Cambodian Funeral

2010-11-17T04:52:00.000-08:00

The father

On Sunday, we received the call from our dear brother in Christ, Tyrith: the gentle son of a believer had died. Chris left immediately to help for the family had no money for the cremation or the traditional meal for the guests. All day, Chris sat with the family, greeting those he knew and meeting others. The village is Prek Ta Cong 1, not far from our home, and one of the poorest areas we've seen. Chris and Tyrith have been teaching there for several months now, and a handful of believers and those coming to belief are learning about the eternal God and all He has done for them. When Chris left, I prayed for him to have wisdom on encouraging these so weak in the faith as to how they could honor God with the funeral. I worried over what the neighbors would think of this boy dying. He has eaten poisoned meat meant for a dog, was taken to a hospital where they turned the family away for lack of money, and now lay dead in the room full of people covered with a simple sheet. Surely the people there would see it as a curse on this family who were forsaking the Buddhist faith. I prayed for the mother. Would she fall on the Everlasting Arms, or would she grieve as those who have no hope?

Smoke from the cremation - we often see it passing the wat

     Later in the day, Chris and Tyrith and a few others prayed over the family. It was awkward, and the foreign Christians were unsure of how to direct this grieving family. Surely the villagers would see Christians as so very odd and maybe even crazy.
     Our entire family attended the cremation at our wat the next morning. Many villagers came. I found the American culture in me offended by the way the family was mostly ignored. The father sat to one side, the mother organized everyone else and wept behind her krama. No one seemed to offer comfort to the family members. Indeed, what comfort could they offer?
     I stood to the side with tears streaming down my face in a very American way. Though Chris saw the boy when they opened the coffin, I had been too far away (as we had agreed upon - we did not want the children to see the cremation). Then they put him in the fire and the crowd dispersed, his family alone sat with a few monks and sticks of incense.
    I write this post with a saddened heart, but one that believes God works all things together for good. This incident has opened my eyes to many things in my heart: a prayer that God would perform a miracle and raise the boy to life then a prayer for my presumptuousness, wondering if the death was a blessing because there would be more food in the home then chastising myself knowing I would rather starve than see a one of my children suffer and die as this child had, and finally begging the Lord for mercy on this 12-year-old and hoping he was not yet at the age of accountability all the while wondering why I made such a request to the God who loved this child more than anyone.

   What will God do with this situation? I have no idea, but I trust Him. I will be looking for His hand in the days to come!

Divine Appointment with the Mechanic's Brother

2010-11-16T23:36:00.000-08:00

As we are are spending the next 7 weeks in prayer and preparation with our family, friends, and partners, I am seeing the beginning of the life we dreamed of not too many years ago. God is giving us glimpses of our calling as we transition from learner to teacher (even though we will always be learning!). So, what are we launching into? The following is a description of one afternoon where God had His plans in mind while we were trying to carry out ours:

Sunday: Singing in the Rain
2:00 - Pack up kids and go buy fried rice for our friends whose baby is in the hospital
3:00 - Car breaks down just as the rain starts. Stuck on a main road by the river.
4:00 - Rain lets up. 10 minutes later our mechanic's brother arrives with more rain. He gets the car working and drives us to the hospital to give our friends (who have had no food all day) the fried rice. We drive through several feet of water, and I ask the brother to wait in the car on the curbside while I give our friends the food.

4:30 The hospital staff can't help me find our friends because (as so often happens here because we don't call each other by name) I don't know our friends' names! I call Chris who is in the middle of teaching the Bible in a village. He calls his friend, the baby's father, who turns out to be far away getting his motto fixed. Chris talks to the hospital staff because I've exhausted my Khmer vocabulary. Finally, I wade back to the car still hanging onto the bag of fried rice.
5:00 All three kids are screaming and the poor mechanic's brother looks panicked. A passy for Marcus, a book for Melanie, and a drink of water for Maggie, and we're stuck in traffic on Monivong Boulevard. The kids soon are begging for a story, so I tell several stories of God's power (in very easy English the brother can understand - I guess I was preaching =) ). 100 rounds of Old McDonald's Farm, Jesus Loves Me, and Jesus Loves the Little Children, and we're getting close to the mechanic's shop.
6:00 After nursing Marcus sitting beside this very young man and getting stared at in the slow traffic because we obviously are the fair skinned family of this Khmer man driving our car (how is it that some of those kids had blonde hair and blue eyes - amazing!), we finally arrive all laughing together at the shop. I run down the road to hail a tuk-tuk.
6:30 We try to meet up with our friend, but it turns out he went back to the hospital (surely miscommunication doesn't happen after a year and a half on the field!), and I wonder how long fried rice will last. Cold and soaking wet, we stop at a nearby restaurant where we meet up with an equally wet Chris, eat, and go home.

What a wonderful way God chose for a mechanic's brother to hear the Good News!

Missing Autumn

2010-11-02T06:23:00.000-07:00

My sweet friend who just moved to Tanzania as a missionary painted a beautiful picture of missing the seasonal change to Autumn. You can see it here. As I am updating my new blog, I am going through old posts, and I just read one where it had occurred to me that I might not experience the change of seasons for quite some time.

Enter "cold" season 2010. While 2009 was a year of survival, 2010 has been one of peace and even some growth and thriving. And what did I find myself thinking while nursing Marcus on the bench in our back yard and watching the girls play?

What a beautiful sound the wind makes blowing through the banana, palm, and mango trees in chorus! How pleasant to hear so many neighbors going through their daily routines! How wonderful that God has brought us here and blessed us through His creation!

I realized the emotion I felt was the same emotion I often felt when I sensed that chill in the air, saw those first leave turn in color. I am so thankful that God has made these seasons "my" seasons and that He has filled my heart with joy for being here in Cambodia.

Wisdom from 1850

2010-11-01T17:30:00.001-07:00

Father, I know that all my life
Is portioned out for me,
And the changes that are sure to come
I do not fear to see;

I ask Thee for a present mind,

Intent on pleasing Thee.

I would not have the restless will
That hurries to and fro,
Seeking for some great thing to do
Or secret thing to know;
I would be treated as a child
And guided where I go.

Wherever in the world I am,
In whatsoever estate,
I have a fellowship with hearts
To keep and cultivate .

Anna L. Warring

Oh, That Pride...

2010-10-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

Growing up, I always thought I was destined to do something great. After writing my first book by the age of 10 (it was all of ten pages long), I figured writing would be my glory. Age 16 brought dreams of being a pioneer missionary in Cambodia. Pioneer missionary is now out since so many more had come before we arrived – including the Lord! That leaves writing. Just yesterday I was daydreaming about a book idea that would make me a best-selling author. I pictured myself becoming the next Beth Moore, encouraging women around the world to glorify God through their lives.

My cheeks are burning with embarrassment as I write this. Am I really putting this information out on the world wide web for anyone to read???

In a flash of light that only comes with great epiphanies, I envisioned myself trying to write this book dressed in clothes caked with sweat and spit up, a baby nursing on one side, a toddler pulling on the other arm begging for me to come help her change her doll’s diaper, and a yet another youngster asking me what I am doing (over and over and over again, as young ones often do). Hmmm…

Pride. I am have pride. Maybe I could do all kinds of great things, but God knows I have pride. As soon as I start to lose weight, I start looking down my nose at others who are overweight. And when I have great breakthroughs of understanding deep in my soul, I wonder why in the world so-in-so doesn’t quite get the concept.

No, I don’t think I will ever be the next Beth Moore. God has begun growing our family, and we are willing to keep growing in His will, even though we once, not so long ago, dreamed of being empty-nesters in our early 40s. But praise the Lord! He has given me a calling in motherhood that will be virtually insignificant to anyone but my babies and husband. Any great achievements in my home’s realm will be known to no one but myself. But praise the Lord! I can only empathize with other mothers. I can have no pride because short comings, selfishness, and weakness are very evident and at the forefront of my mind every moment of every day.

My life is not about being the next big thing, – even though my pride still wants that – but it’s about sanctification. Thankfully, God will take care of that. He’s taking care of purifying me even right now as I know I need to go turn off the movie the kids are watching even though I’d much rather dream about who will read my blog. Ugh! Ok, so there is obviously more work to be done.

But, He’ll do it. He’ll do it for me, and He’ll do it for you. Amen.

Casey

Bed Rest

2010-03-27T02:35:00.000-07:00

It was just last week with the heat and constant contractions that I was longing to just stay in the bed in our air-conditioned room. When the doctor ordered bed rest for a week, I'll admit, I was relieved. Well, by the end of day one I could hardly stand it! Bored, sore, and listening from a distance to my girls and husband laughing together almost drove me out of bed...almost. I did some research on how to improve bed rest time and made myself a schedule of sorts. As tomorrow is my first official day to slowly get out of bed, I am thanking the Lord for providing me time to do all I got to do! He knew we needed time to plan our furlough extensively, and now it is done! Besides all the work I got to do, baby Marcus Christopher is healthy and well. I'm so thankful the Lord is in charge, and I am not.

Birth Control and the Lordship of God

2010-03-03T17:28:00.000-08:00

The Quiverfull Movement is having an impact on mainstream Christianity. Non-Christians and Christians alike are saying its adherents are ludicrous, radical. As referred to in my last blog, I am becoming more and more interested in ideas the world calls ludicrous and radical, strange and odd.

A theme that we have recently been studying, praying, and learning about is the Lordship of Christ, especially as it relates to Christian community and meetings. Questions we ask are as follows: How is Christ the center focus and Lord of our church meetings? Does any man-made role or organization conflict with His Lordship over our times of Christian fellowship? Do our cultural traditions and beliefs conflict with the principles Christ laid out for His church?

So what is the link between these two ideas? Lordship! As we contemplate our family size we are asking these questions: How is Christ the Lord of our family size? Does any man-made idea conflict with His principles for our family size?

The answer to that second question is very clear to us. When we look closely at ourselves and beliefs about family size, we realize deeply held beliefs we had not even realized were there:

Human conception of time and circumstance is the best judge of when to have a child (waiting until after both spouses have master's degrees, waiting until there is a significant amount of wealth_

Human reasoning is another thing to consider when considering family size (desire for freedom and not the restraint of children, etc; having lots of children is irresponsible for economic and environmental reasons)

Basically, we realized we have always believed in a worldly, selfish way that we were lords over our family size. We believed, as taught by Christians and non-Christians, that we should be "responsible," using birth control and considering our situation through worldly eyes as we decided when or if to have children then when or if to have more.

Well, God has brought us a long way so far. We have learned to take Him at His Word:

He alone opens and closes the womb (Melanie was conceived while using birth control).

Children ARE a blessing!

Most forms of birth control have the possibility of being abortive (the Pill, for one)and should not be used by Christians. Life is sacred, and He knows us before we were even conceived.

The bottom line: God alone knows best how big a family size should be for each individual family. Selfishness and worldly wisdom should not play a factor in determining family size nor should worldly contraceptives. We can trust Christ's Lordship in our family size.

What does that mean practically for our family? No, we are not Quiverfull. Yes, we are Christian! We do not view our children as burdens or inconveniences or interruptions in our lives. We believe they are a blessing, and we trust that God will not bless us until we are begging Him to stop. =) We do believe God gives us a choice in our family size, but instead of checking whether another child would disrupt any plans we have for our own lives and happiness, we will seek Him first, asking that the Holy Spirit will reveal to us whether it is the Lord's time for another blessing to our family (as opposed to seeking reasons not to have another baby). Finally, we will use only non-abortive methods of birth control.

The Christian walk is one of growth, a different journey for each soul. We're thankful the Lord is working hard in our lives to teach and grow us despite pressures and influence from the world. It is our prayer for you as well.

Further reading:
http://www.christianity.com/Home/Christian%20Living%20Features/11605806/print/
*comprehensive but we don't necessarily agree with it all.

http://multiplyandreplenish.blogspot.com/search/label/The%20Case%20Against%20Birth%20Control
*Quiverfull essay

http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2007/03/is-birth-control-sin/
*Has a really good response to the article

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Articles/ByDate/2006/1440_Does_the_Bible_permit_birth_control/

Are Christians Different?

2010-03-03T15:47:00.000-08:00

I was talking with my neighbor the other day when she asked me whether I go to church or not. I got the picture, but the word she used for church was "wat," the same word for Buddhist temples here in Cambodia. Our conversation continued, and what I soon discovered was that my friend saw very little difference between Christians and Buddhists.

We have a holy place where we worship God
We do good deeds in front of others (think Christian NGO Landcruisers driving around with what they do written in big letters on the side of the vehicle)
We set other Christians on pedestals (think the pastor or preacher or worship team or the missionary =) )

Our "temples,our "merit (good deeds, especially when seen by others)", our "monks" are such a hindrance to the spread of Christ's hope and salvation. Not to say that there are not even more hindrances because of how we conform to the world, but these are just some biggies here, things Chris and I and the church (God's people who meet together) are trying to rethink - rethink, as in, rediscover from the churches in the Bible. I hope we can shine brightly to our neighbors and that they can see the difference which is the Lordship of Christ and not culture.

Being in Cambodia has led me to exam so may things in my heart: To wonder if I really am different, to wonder why the world does not really see me as radical. I have started desiring to have confirmation that I am, indeed, really a Christian like Jesus calls me to be - in the world but not of it. I am finding that I have so much growing to do, so many cultural chains to throw off. I'm excited, a bit scared, but I want to be different...I long to be like Christ and not like America.

So, the first issue I have felt God leading me to deal with is family. Although I never realized it, I saw children as a burden, often an inconvenience. Now, God has reshaped me and shown me they are an unqualified blessing. After our first son joins us this summer, I plan to seek God's will on why we should NOT have another child, not why should we? What I mean is, I want to accept God's blessings from Him. I don't want to use birth control for selfish or worldly reasons or even many of the reasons I have heard from Christian friends. But this is all better suited for another post...

Why Am I Not Like Her?

2009-11-21T23:04:00.000-08:00

Today I drug myself through each activity: dip bath with water warmed over the stovetop (it's cold these days!), fed this child, changed that diaper...It really was just a normal day. I am battling an infection and am now on antibiotics, so I took sometime tonight and let Maggie (also infected) to watch Dora. While she was watching, I got on Facebook and then a friend's blog. She talked about the garden they had planted, the farmer's market baskets she'd received and how she was going to cook the produce, the books they are reading. I looked around my semi-messy, unorganized since the last time we rearranged (in order to get more organized =) )house and at my girls who were about to go to bed without a bath because I was just too tired to do it. I thought about the precious little I have done these past weeks, and it hit me: Who am I? I'm certainly not who I planned or hoped to be. I am not like my blogging friend.

I am not, by nature (or maybe environment)energetic. I am not in any way skilled at homemaking, and, although I try, child-rearing comes neither naturally nor easily. I struggle to be healthy and often fail. I struggle to look nice, but often lack the desire or energy to be more than just clean. I have so many dreams - even just small ones like organizing the book shelf in our bedroom/office - that have been and probably will be left undone for quite a while.

I think, at the ripe old age of 25, I am going through a bit of a mid-life crisis. A steady "career" with no end in sight, a nearly 5-year-old marriage, a body shaped by 2.5 kiddos - it has to be a mid-life crisis... Or maybe it's just life...

Tomorrow's another day, right? I'll get up again, try again, win some and lose some. The Khmer word is "Toe-madah." Well, I am toe-madah. I guess that is an ok place to be from time to time. I just hope the time for the energetic, go-getting, happily busy Casey is not too far away.

Relaxation Technique: Giving Up!

2009-06-08T20:52:00.000-07:00

I am currently going through the Beth Moore study on the Psalms of Ascent. In the introduction, Beth encourages you to begin the practice of lying prostrate before the Lord. I have only been prostrate, truly face down and ready to "give up" before the Lord, once during an extremely difficult time in my life. I was, in all honesty, hesitant to try again.

To my surprise, once my body hit the floor and my forehead rested as low as it could go, I felt such relief from the stress I have been under, such peace. Who knew such a prone position could be so relaxing?! God did. It wasn't the position of my body but the position of my heart. After seven weeks in Cambodia trying to make things go just so, I gave up - and I am so glad I did. What a relief to know Who is in charge. How relaxing to let go.

Haven't I been taught that all my life? How many times have I learned that lesson? Countless. I am not, however, disappointed to learn it again in God's school. I am too at peace with Him to care because I know He is at peace with me, teaching me and growing me through each new experience He gives.

A Little House in the Woods: My "Stumbling Block"

2009-03-20T09:56:00.000-07:00

As I see the budding trees and enjoy the rolling hills of Arkansas, a small twinge interrupts my reverie. An old longing, hidden now in the recesses of my heart, leaps forward in my mind. How wonderful it would be to live in the forest, in a small log cabin in the woods, surrounded by the beauty of nature. How peaceful it would be to raise my children in a place where they could run in and out of the house amidst the calls and songs of the birds, never once thinking of the harm that could befall them in this era when children are no longer safe. I would love to daily look upon God's green earth, enjoying Him in my purest form of worship. In all honesty, it is in nature that I feel closest to my Lord. I feel Him in the wind, see Him in His in His glorious creation, and listen to His clear voice whispering through the tree tops.
No, this doesn't sound like the missionary Casey, the one who fought long and hard to move to Cambodia. God has seen fit to teach me to love Him in the dusty streets of Phnom Penh in a house made of concrete among the brash sounds of many a foreign people constantly about me. His love, His truth, will suffice, I know...but when my heart grows tired, to what field will I run so I may call out to my Father, under what tree will I rest, and to which blossom will I look and find comfort?
For my birthday, Chris took a picture of a beautiful autumn leaf, framed it, and bought an apple cider candle as its companion. I will remember God in the nature of my homeland. I will remember all He has done for me. And one day, in the distant future, I will remember seeing my Lord in the crowded markets of a Cambodian province, in the endlessness of green rice fields, and in the smile of a new Khmer sister.

Pride, Persistance, and Time

2009-02-20T07:46:00.000-08:00

I felt...well...just wonderful when we came back from Thailand. One of the biggest contributing factors was my weight. I weighed less than I had in a long time. I really felt good and felt like I looked good. Looking back, I can see now how prideful I was. I have a confession: I felt superior to many people. Sure, I didn't feel that way all the time, but I did feel that way. God gave a blessing, let's even call it a responsibility, and I blew it. God took my figure away...fast. My pride is destroyed, and my shame is daily.

As Maggie grows older, we add responsibilities to her daily life. If she handles the responsibility well, we add more responsibilities. She feel empowered and has more freedom. It's really quite exciting. If she does not handle the responsibility well, we take it away for a time and give her another try later.

I have been typing my hand-written journal from 2000, and I came across an entry that talked about a sin struggle I had had as a child and young adult. I wrote how powerless I felt to change, how often I failed, how many times I promised God I was finished with it. Then it hit me, I don't struggle with it anymore. I don't feel tempted to struggle with it anymore.

I see it all: the sin, the given responsibility, the sin again....then the freedom. I pray that with all my sins, with all my struggles, that God make me first learn the lesson(s) I need learn (no matter how long it takes) then remove or lessen the struggle. Finally, I pray for and hope for complete victory not the despair of a lifelong struggle. Regardless, I pray that my heart will view discipline for the Lord and sin struggles as lessons. I hope to glorify God through learning those lessons and celebrating His victories.

In It for the Long Haul

2008-11-29T09:01:00.000-08:00

I am learning how very much I enjoy self-gratification. America is the place to be for those of us who want instant results. Recently, God has been helping me learn about changes I need to make inwardly and outwardly in my life. That deep desire to change mixed with my desire for instant results has (and seems to always have) been catastrophic. When five pounds don't melt off in a day or my temper flares after I just promised to be a patient person, I want to throw in the towel!
While waiting to hear back from churches and being at the mercy of our (albeit wonderful) supporters, God is teaching me patience. We're aren't sitting around doing nothing; we're pretty busy. That is exactly what God is helping me discover about growing more like Him.
When we first came back the the States, I decided I would stop eating chips and drinking cokes for the most part. I was at a healthy weight, and I wanted to stay that way. Just the other day, I realized that it was no longer a struggle to resist those things. In fact, I might try to eat a chip or drink a coke, but I ended up not liking it. Wow! I believe that principle can apply to my more inward improvements. Maybe someday in the future I will notice that I am instantly forgiving someone who hurts me as opposed to building up hurt and resentment inside. May it me so...for me and for you! Until that day, I'm just going to keep praying and keep trying.

So This is What Furlough is Like

2008-10-30T14:49:00.000-07:00

This is my first furlough experience. I have always heard
how crazy it can be, but nothing prepared me for the constant travel, meetings,
and smiling that are just part of this very important item in the missionary
job description. My face and bum hurt!

In all seriousness, our “fundraising furlough” has been a
much bigger blessing than I ever could have expected. An unexpected blessing
has been seeing the beautiful country that is our homeland. God’s artistry in
creation has filled my heart with renewed awe, and that awe revitalizes my soul
which is weary from being homeless. God’s heart is my home, and seeing all He
has made from His heart makes me feel at home on the interstates and highways
of this great country.

Another blessing has been seeing so many of our wonderful
family members. Growing up so close to at least my mother’s side of the family
made me treasure familial relationship. Marrying into such an amazing family,
these visits have made family feel close even though hundreds and one day
thousands of miles will separate us.

We have been in so many of our dear supporters homes. I am
so amazed by their generosity and hospitality. I would love to mention each of
their names, but I know their reward is in Heaven. They would have it no other
way. We are sweetly indebted to these precious people. What a blessing to share
with them all they are helping us do in God’s work in Asia.

"On the Side:" Being Called to Another Ministry

2008-10-25T11:17:00.000-07:00

What a thrill to feel like God is leading us to Cambodia. Despite the economic woes of the day, God has provided 50% of our entire budget through His people across the country. What's more, He placed us on the hearts of an amazing church who is seriousloy considering overseering our ministry in Cambodia! We know in the deepest parts of our hearts that He desires for us to live and serve among the Khmer people.

     Oddly enough, during a time when we are feeling His calling for Cambodia strengthen, He has places another ministry on our hearts.

     Well, the truth is out. We're NOT perfect. In fact, we're downright sinful. I say that jokingly but with great conviction. It seems that God wants to make our darkest sin and shame apparent to all the world for His glory. So, here it goes...

     Pornography has been a huge part of our marriage. Chris told me before we were even dating that he struggled with it. It has been a long, hard road, one of discovering each others very worst parts and rejoicing in the grace of God's refining hands. God has sculpted a beautiful marriage out of the ashes of our old selves. Though we long to grow closer and more like Christ every day for the rest of our lives, we feel like God has helped us make a huge leap in our faith in Him and love for each other. Even still it is not always easy; temptation, mistrust, and selfishness creep into our hearts daily. Satan wants to destroy our marriage even still.

     On our trip across America and in Asia, we encountered so many struggling with this same sin. It is our hope and our desire to serve those hurting marriages by simply providing helpful resources, listening ears, and constructive dialogue. We feel God is calling us to the ministry "on the side," and we gratefully want to share our story with families. It is a story of wonderful victory that we hope everyone can rejoice in and, if in the midst of this battle, can look to in hope. Love always hopes!

     Our prayers go out to you, broken hearts. God will rescue you!

Culture Shock in Thailand

2008-03-05T15:09:00.000-08:00

     Having traveled my fair share now, I was unprepared for the culture shock that hit me like a tsunami once we arrived in Chiang Mai. After a really great traveling experience all the way the Bangkok, we were kicked off our flight to Chiang Mai because I was too pregnant and needed a doctor's note in order to fly. Poor Maggie was exhausted (and so was her mama!), but we has to rush through the airport to go to a clinic, get a check up, then make the next flight. Now, for those of you who have not traveled with children, boarding a plane with a bunch of people pushing to get the seat they want while you are just trying to stay upright with a big belly, a baby on one hip, and your carry-ons precariously balanced on both shoulders makes for a pretty horrible experience. Add three previous days of travel to that, and exhaustion turns into a kind of anger and frustration that are the perfect set-up for culture shock.
     Upon arrival, I quickly learned that Thailand only remotely resembles Cambodia, I could not communicate with anyone, and settling in would be much more difficult than I had anticipated. Days of tears and frustration ensued. I would not try out speaking in Thai and constantly complained to my poor husband.
     Looking back now, I see things went very smoothly and quickly. We now have a house, a car (kind of...it is a piece of work!), and a schedule full of wonderful activities. I praise God that the extreme culture shock I experienced did not last very long. He has been our provision, and I know He will continue to be. Please pray for me to grow in my trust of him, and pray for our continued transition here in Chiang Mai.

After Our First Year

2008-02-05T15:18:00.000-08:00

Our first year in ministry has been a difficult, but we have grown so
much and learned many thing we need to learn but did not expect to
learn. We now feel God leading us in a different direction toward our
goal of ministering in Cambodia. We plan on moving to Thailand, Lord
willing, in March of next year and completing an apprenticeship with
the Chiang Mai. We feel this is the best training we can receive for
Cambodia. Please be in prayer for us as this changes our relationship
with our current sponsoring church and affects our plans for having
baby number 2.

You're Not as Important as You Think You Are

2008-02-05T15:17:00.000-08:00

During our preparation we heard so many discouraging comments like, “We love you, but if you decide not to work with us, it won’t be a big deal” and were asked questions like “Where are you going again?” and “Now, I know I’ve met you, but who are you?” We had big dreams of what a sponsoring congregation would be like. We thought our ministry to Cambodia would be promoted, that we’d be a huge part of the church during our initial stay and that people would never forget us (especially while we were working with the church)! We soon learned that our expectations had been terribly wrong. People have their own lives. Do not expect them to get very wrapped up in yours. Churches have so many things going. Do not expect to be what’s going on. You will be forgotten. You will be overlooked. You will NOT be the center of attention. Work hard at building good relationships, go about your ministry and preparation, and seek to receive affirmation solely from God. With those godly expectations, you will not be disappointed.

Another aspect of this idea is the fact that you are such a small part of a person’s decision to follow Christ. God has been working on each individual from the day they were born (and even before!), and you are just a part of His plan. He gives each person so many chances to know and find Him. You are one of those chances. It is important to realize that it is not about saying the most persuasive thing in the best, most eloquent way. Your job is speaking as God directs, approaching people as God guides you, and trusting that He loves and cares about that person so much more than you do. You might have the most convincing argument for Christ, but if that person’s heart is hard, nothing you say will hit home. God is responsible for that person, and you are responsible to God. Concern yourself with preparing to talk with others, but spend much more time seeking a deeper relationship with the Lord and asking for and listening to His voice and direction.

This idea transfers, I think, to the mission field. It matters not how many baptisms you had this month. You cannot be held responsible for someone’s personal decision. You must work hard to reach as many as you can, to love deeply each soul you come in contact with. Do not, however, lay the burden of a person’s decision to convert on your own training, persuasiveness, or ability. As always, trust in God and what He is doing in that person, not in yourself.

Picture from www.bettyladuke.com

If You Say "Stay"

2008-02-05T15:03:00.000-08:00

I Timothy 1:3-4

The need for American Christians to step up and reach out to our fellow Americans is greater than ever...and more difficult. I found it very interesting in these two verses that Paul urges Timothy to stay to correct. During our stay here, our outreach has been focused on believers because there are so many! Though we hate judging, though we hate to be confrontational, it is very clear, at least in Timothy's case, that correction was in order. We have God's Word to teach from. It is not our own. Let's share it fully and without shame for the purpose of salvation and correction.

Jesus is "Bigger"'

2008-02-05T15:01:00.000-08:00

I Timothy 1:1-2

At our small group one night we discussed the concept of Jesus being “bigger” than we imagine Him. These opening verses describe Him as just that: our hope. We need not worry about the future because He is. We need not try and control our lives because He is. We need not sorrow beyond comfort because He is. He gives all we need: grace, mercy, and peace. At the writing of this little journal, I am in the midst of one of the greatest struggles of my short lifetime. Oddly enough, my spirit seems to hold out in hope. Peace seeps slowly into my soul despite my bitterness and rebellion. As his child, He will
be (and already is) all I need because that is who He is. October 31, 2007

A Day in the Life of a Missionary Wife

2008-02-05T14:54:00.000-08:00

It was very difficult for me in college to imagine what my daily life
as a missionary wife would be. Being here in Huntsville, I am learning
what this lifestyle looks like day in and day out. While it was not
what I expected, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Consider this schedule when considering being a missionary wife. It
is not the same as the one for your husband, but it is just as
necessary and just as wonderful. One thing to note is that the
missionary wife must take advantage of all opportunities as well as try
to create them. One great way is to go to the same place at the same
time on a regular and frequent basis. Then, you can build
relationships!

So, here is my typical daily schedule:

6:00 Go to the Gym (Chris does web work now)

6:45 Shower and get ready for the day

7:00 Get Maggie up, changed, and clothed and fix breakfast

8:00 Cleaning

8:30 Maggie time (fun, educational one-on-one time)

9:00 Put Maggie to bed, devotional and Bible study

10:00 Language study, Bible lesson building

11:00 Get Maggie up, Fix lunch (often we meet young mothers for lunch
and Bible study or encouragement or we will go as a family to the
park (we meet lots of people there!))

1:00 Maggie and Mommy take a siesta

1:30 Correspondence (keeping in touch with friends, family, mentors,
and supporters) and reporting (we have a monthly newsletter and a
weekly report for the church)

3:00 Call and Cards (to encourage church members as well and keep in touch with those we are ministering to)

3:30 Get Maggie up and feed her a snack, go visiting (we meet people
for coffee or visiting older people in their homes, sometimes we go to
the hospital, etc) and run errands (grocery store, post office, etc)

5:00 Fix Supper (we often have church members or those we are
ministering to over which usually runs late into the night or we have
church of a meeting)

7:00 Put Maggie to bed

9:00 Get ready for the next day, read (we have some assigned reading but we also do a lot of reading for pleasure and learning)

10:00 Bed

Fear Factor

2008-02-05T14:52:00.000-08:00

While reading this morning, the author helped me
understand a simple truth from God's Word that I had somehow missed
along the way: Fear of the Lord should override our fear of man. We
were in a meeting once with someone who we were confronting about
wronging us. My desire to win kept me in torment as my resolves to
listen well, speak gently, and act lovingly (Godly commands, indeed) all
dissolved within the first few minutes. My fear of being continually
hurt by this person, my desire to no longer fear his intentions, was
stronger than my fear of God.

Our desire not to sin against God should be far greater than our fear of
man or man's intentions. I hope when I am faced with difficult situations
in the future thatI will fear my God so much that I will not sin against Him in my
ungodly fear.

1 John 4:18

Motives

2008-02-05T14:50:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it is hard to remember to check our motives in certain situations. Even now, as we are struggling to learn how to serve and partner at Central, I have learned how essential it is to look into my heart and ask, "Why?" Discerning your motives is a wonderful way for God to help you spot and heal troubled areas in your heart of hearts. I encourage you to try it today!

Since I harped on The Power of a Praying Woman in my last blog, I would like to commend a section of it today:

"The motivation for what we do in the area of body care is very important. It will affect how successful we are. If we eat right and exercise merely to look great in our clothes, it won't be enough to sustain us as we get older. But if we eat right and engage in proper exercise for the purpose of being a more vital, healthy, energetic, and useful servant of the Lord, this has eternal consequences and you are more likely to stick with it" (pg 203).

I was "cut to the heart" by these words. My motivations need to change! What about yours?

From the English Major

2008-02-05T14:36:00.000-08:00

Chris and I have had the wonderful opportunity here at Central to READ! It has been so wonderful to not only learn through watching others and through hands-on experiences, but to also learn through reading. I just have a few books I would like to recommend and tell you a little about. Some of them have been so helpful while others have been just plain enjoyable!

1) Every Heart Restored: A Wife's Guide to Healing in the Wake of a Husband's Sexual Sin by Fred and Brenda Stoeker (Fred co-authored Every Man's Battle)

This is a one of a kind book that talks about healing we all need regardless of if we have experienced the pain of a husband's sexual sin. For those of us who have (and I know that is the vast majority of women), this book is a gift from the Lord to us from a woman who's been through it.

I highly recommend this book for ALL women, married or unmarried. We are going to face this issue. It is being forced upon us, and as Christian women we must be prepared to stand and fight and glorify God.

2) The Marriage Builder by Dr. Larry Crabb

This is an amazing marriage book that talks about the main purpose of marriage: glorifying God! The main point is that marriage is for our own growth, our growth closer to God. It has some wonderful information.

3) Sharing Jesus in the Buddhist World edited by David Lin and Steve Spaulding

This book is heavier reading, but has some amazing and insightful information about Buddhism and teaching Buddhists. I highly recommend it if you are interested in ministering to the Buddhist world.

4) The Strong-Willed Wife: Using Your Personality to Honor God and Your Husband by Dr. Debbie Cherry

I don't think has been a time in my life where I have thought that my personality was worthwhile. In fact, I have often felt that my strong-will was not a gift from God but closer to a curse. This book has given me a new, yet Biblical, perspective on the strong-willed wife. I feel like I have grown so much closer to what God has been trying to mold me into because of what I learned from this book. If you think you have a strong-will (we usually know it!), then this is the book for you!

5) Leap of Faith: A memoir of an Unexpected Life by Queen Noor

This autobiography is a very interesting saga about an American who marries the King of Jordan. It provides an interesting viewpoint of recent political events as well as what you normally learn from memoirs: the same things the person living them learned.

6) An Enduring Love: My Life with the Shah by Farah Pahlavi

This is also quite an interesting story of the Shahs who were eventually ousted by the Islamic revolution in Iran.

7) Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer

Though peppered with crude language and somewhat offensive, this book is an interesting story of a boy who graduated from Emory, gave all his money to charity, and was found dead from starvation in the Alaskan wilderness. It is a very detailed account of his person and describes an acted-upon longing I often have: to go into the wild.

8) In Search of Fatima: A Palestinian Story by Ghada Karmi

With the politics of Palestine all over the news, I am very interested to read more from the "other" side. This book is the account of a family ousted by Zionists in 1948. The last page of the book left me quaking in my boots. . .but I won't ruin it for you!

9) A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael by Elisabeth Elliot

An amazing story of what a single woman did in India. I often felt myself arguing with Amy's reasoning and actions, but this story is challenging in the way so many missionary biographies are.

10) For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women and For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men by Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn

Two of the best marriage books we've read! Chris and I read these together and enjoyed every minute. We took forever to finish them because each idea presented left us discussing it for days! I highly recommend these books for newlyweds especially.

11) Give Joy to My Youth: A Memoir of Dr. Tom Dooley by Teresa Gallagher

I was angry to the last page with this book. I am always amazed at who we honor in this world. . . but I'll leave it up to you if you find the man who inspired the Peace Corps worthy of honor or not.

Bittersweet Morning

2008-02-05T14:32:00.000-08:00

As is my habit, I was walking yesterday morning. On this particular day, I felt the almost imperceptible shift in the air toward Autumn, my most beloved season. It thrilled me to have felt that hint of coolness, and my mind soared back in time to the many beautiful Autumns I have been blessed to spend in the United States. With the memories, however, also came a hint of sadness. I do not know when I will feel this wonderful, seasonal change again. I realized what a treasure it was for me, and I realized that I am leaving it behind soon. The "fighting" to get to Cambodia, the challenging new experiences in Alabama, and the excitement of dreaming have now faded into the past, and reality has slowly set in. The picture of what our life will be like and the changes that will take place is more clear much like the sky in Fall. But, we are ready. God has prepared us, and we will go filled with joy.
Please pray with me today for missionaries living overseas. They have left behind so much more than the changing of the seasons.

At the Crossroads

2008-02-05T14:30:00.000-08:00

In the sweet group of women who began meeting at Harding, the main stumbling block we faced from Satan was that of clarity: What should my major be, who should I marry, and should I be a missionary in Africa or Asia? I struggled as much as any woman there. I just read a wonderful article about being at the crossroads. It talks about Jeremiah 16:16 which says,

"Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask for where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls."

I thought after college, after marriage, after baby, and after getting a supporting church that my crossroads times would be over. That has not been the case, of course, and I face a great crossroads this very day. My prayer is that you will seek the Lord and His wisdom at each intersection.

Love Always Hopes

2008-02-05T14:26:00.000-08:00

I read those three words on a church sign not too long ago, and they have revolutionized the way I think about God. My marriage has been most affected by those words, and, out of our struggles, I am hoping to share the message that Love always hopes to Christian women (both married and single).

Pornography is has swept into our churches. It is killing our families and destroying our witness to the world. Our men's ignorance has been helped by books like "Every Man's Battle" and others, but women seem to only be part of the problem, critical judges or devastated victims. God has placed on my heart the desire to share this urgent message with His women: We must fight or lose all of our dreams for joyful, godly marriages.

Can you join my in prayer today for marriages among our Christian family?

A Former Cambodian Student Writes...

2008-02-05T14:25:00.000-08:00

My former English student who moved to the States a few years ago writes:

Hi Casey
Thanks for your email. How is everything with you and your baby? You seem very happy, but for me, I feel so upsad. You know what I really don't know why do I want to come to US? I think I made a wrong decision. Because since I was in US I usually sad and I feel so lonely. Sometimes I want to tell someone that I can truth about my story but I can't. You know I really want to rent apartment and live alone, but I can't do that. Now I am living with my sister, brother in law, and his family. Sometimes when I am sad I can't tell anybody about my story so I just cry and cry. Casey I feel jealou with you, you having a good family and a good husband. I don't really know when will my life like your? I don't know what to do now? You are the only person that I tell my story to. Casey, I really miss you and remember a good time that we had together in Cambodia. I really hope we have that good time again.
Ok,Casey mail to me sometimes.
Love,***

Please be in prayer for my friend. She is not a Christian.

A Call to Arms!

2008-02-05T14:22:00.000-08:00

On my prayer "walk" (I drive) today, I found myself understanding in a new way those great verses in Romans: "How shall they believe...?" and "How shall they hear...?" As I parked in the lot beside the Adult Video store and the Silver Dollar Showclub, my heart begged the Redeemer to redeem those caught up in this awful slavery of selfishness, lust, and destruction of what God has made good. The Spirit, however, moved me to pray more fervently for workers. Where are those who God has prepared in special ways to reach the dancers and the ensnared men? Where are those who will reach the hundreds of Latter-day "Saints" in this city? And who is it who will minister to the those who went to prayer today at the Huntsville Islamic Center? What Christian will teach the servers at Hooters that God's attention and love will fulfill them more than the attention they are getting at work?

I ask you, on behalf of the living dead, the unsaved, to consider coming here and serving among a lost people group.

If you do not feel called to Huntsville, Alabama, I ask you next to consider serving these people groups in your community.

If you feel God leading you to serve in another way or to serve another people, I ask you to dedicate your Fridays to either both or one of the following: Prayer for these people groups or fasting for these people groups.

May God raise up His church to serve the lost in Huntsville, in you community, and all around the world!

Fighting Fear

2008-02-05T04:24:00.000-08:00

When we visited Harding the Friday of Spring Sing weekend, we were pleasantly surprised to hear Dr. Monte Cox speaking during chapel. He spoke about faith in Christ, faith when we don't understand, faith at all times regardless of what type of person you are. He made a comment which brought tears to my eyes. "I don't like what Jesus says about marriage in heaven. When we die, I want Beth (my wife) to be Beth...but I must trust Jesus." From the time Chris and I married (over two years ago, wow!) this very part of scripture has been a test of my faith. Quite naturally, I feared his death. I wanted him with me always. What if, after a lifetime of ever-deepening love and relationship, we don't even know each other in heaven? Will he be just another spirit to me and I to him? I've poured out my heart to my beloved Chris and to my dear friend Amy on several occasions, and they have met me with the same answer Monte provided: Jesus.

If I believe Jesus is who he says He is, I must trust that heaven and all those blessed people there will be more beautiful, more wonderful, more full of love than we are here on earth. If I trust Him, I can know that heaven is a place I want to be, a place full of those I love, a place of wonderful relationships.

I do not know the answers to my fears. I cannot rationally explain them away. The hard and difficult answer is all that Jesus provides: Himself. I urge you, sisters, to not give up the fight against your fears because it is a fight for Jesus. In fighting for Him you will not be overcome by fear of car wrecks (a personal struggle for me), of death, nor of pain. Never allow yourself to mentally give in. Stay strong; fight!

Going to the Market

2008-02-05T04:19:00.000-08:00

Our preparation time in Huntsville is going very well. It's strange, but the longer we're here, the more I feel like I am on the mission field (as in Cambodia). One of the new joys God has blessed my life with is going to the market. There is an old Star Mart in a place called Five Points (where 5 roads meet) just down the road from our house. The people that work there are older and poorer than the community that surrounds them, but they greet everyone who enters the store like old friends. Maggie and I walked there the other day to pick up some groceries. I made several new friends and saw God open the opportunity to evangelize. When I think about it, I will be doing this same kind of thing in Cambodia: Going to the market, meeting new people, and following God's lead as He, without a doubt, leads me toward leading another into an encounter with the Him.

I read a quote I had written down in my Bible not too long ago: "Do not search for Jesus in far off lands. He is not there. He is close to you. He is with you" (Mother Teresa). I encourage you, my sisters in Christ, to not follow the same path I have followed. Do not long for the future hoping you'll find your dreams there, hoping you'll be a more godly woman once you're there. Do not be like the world waiting for tomorrow.

Jesus is here . . . right now . . . Enjoy Him, cherish Him, and share Him today!

In His love,

Casey