I have started this blog several times. Let's just say it has not been pretty. I could not bring myself to publish for the world the full vent of my feelings that went something along the lines of "Being a missionary is truly the worst job in the world..." and "In all honesty, we are a total sham."
I am just so thankful for a wonderful girl who did blog, who somehow seems to know what is going on in my life right now and articulates it so very well even though she doesn't know me.
When Following God Doesn't Work Out
Precious friends back in the States ask us how things are going, how many people have become Christians, what is great about living overseas, and even what are some hard things about living here. After three years, how can I explain that every day has been, for the most part, mere survival? How can I seem sensible when I say I hardly even know what is wrong, what is hard? How can I admit (being the go-getter than I am...or, at least, used to be) that a victory for our family is Chris being able to get out of the door because I stopped crying, or stressing, or ailing...?
I am Humpty Dumpty, and "NO" we are not successful!
More from Laura - The Angry Stomp
Boy, I wish I could say I have thrown a bike. The intensity of anger I feel at times here surprises me, even frightens me. I won't tell you the dreams I have of breaking things, the strong urge to demolish all kinds of household items. It may sound strange, but ever since we arrived in Cambodia I dreamed of just dumping the water in my drinking cup all over me in sheer frustration. I never let myself do it because I always figured it would signal the loss of my mental capabilities. Well, I did it the other day...I'm not sure what that means.
A Final Post from Laura - On (Not) Becoming Cynical
I feel that we are at a great crossroads right now in life and ministry. I would say we are in danger of becoming cynical or being swallowed by this great ocean of stress. I can hardly breathe thinking things could keep going on this way.
Hope, however, still remains...doesn't it always? Doesn't He always?
So we will stay, and we'll hope. And we'll pray.