Joy

Huntsville, AL 2007

The tears just came, pouring from my eyes and dripping through my fingers as I held my hands to my face. My husband was busy doing a jig. He picked me up and swung me around the kitchen, grinning from ear to ear.

Two lines.

It can't be.

We're moving to Thailand in a few months. This situation we've been living in for a year has sapped me of my strength and my confidence in my ability to do anything.

No, God. This can't be. This is the worst possible time for a baby.  

----------------------------
 Chiang Mai, Thailand, 2008 

I cannot stand this anymore! I need air-conditioning. I need real food. I need water colder than the showers I take back home. I want to get out of this country!

The thoughts were racing through my mind. Transitioning into our first overseas experience had been hard. Really hard. I sat in our bed longing for a bit of coolness as hot season melted my nine-month-pregnant body. My husband came in and tried not to touch my sweaty skin as he put his arm behind my pillow.

"Can we at least pick a middle name for this baby? I just want to accomplish something. Anything." I shot out, anger being the new usual way I dealt with stress and 100 degree weather.

Gentle and calm man that he is, he thought for a while. "What about Joy?"

And it was settled.  I was just glad we had decided on something.

----------------------------
Chiang Mai Ram Hospital and Suandok Hospital, Chiang Mai, Thailand May 2008

Both parents were crying over the little pink bundle in their arms. The doctor gently laid a hand on the father's shoulders, and a nurse knelt down beside the mother. I could see a tiny face amidst the flannel and wondered through teary eyes of my own what was wrong. Then I looked down at the tiny face in my arms, and the doctor's words rang in my ears:

"Do not leave the hospital. She is very sick. We need to do a lumbar puncture. Call your husband now."

I subconsciously felt along the tiny spine, feeling the heat of the fever and noticing once again the lethargy that had taken over her previously energetic personality. There was no way I was going to let them stick my four-day-old baby with a large needle ...  in her backbone ... No way.

Finally, at a government hospital, the diagnosis came back: Meningitis. It had already made it to her brain.  The next two weeks were filled with her cries as she was stuck over and over again with IVs. Her veins were just too tiny.

By God's mercy, we never felt the terror of her possible death nor even the seriousness of her condition. What I did feel was joy. I held her close to my heart, smelled her sweet scent, kissed her sweet cheeks, and joy filled my heart.

How could I have ever not wanted her, my Melanie Joy?

I wanted her now with a fierceness I didn't know I was capable of.  I repented on my knees before the Lord with that little girl in my arms. I promised Him I would never again despise His blessings.

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Kampong Speu, Village Phum Po, Cambodia 2014

Now, I am thankful every day for all the joy in our life. Six little gifts from God so far, six little joys live in the place I call home. I am so thankful for the lesson God taught me through our second daughter:

We never knew what great joy the Lord can give us until we give our lives, every part, over to Him.


Join in the JOY over at Velvet Ashes this week!

Celebrating the Amazing Allison Six!

I've lost count of the number of times people have commented on how hard our life must be...because of our children. I've learned to just chuckle inwardly and do the Cambodian smile and nod (which means nothing but that I am smiling and nodding). Today, I want to celebrate my wonderful, tough, amazing children! They are the joy in the midst of the struggle and trial. They are they bright part of every day, one of the most wonderful gifts the Father has ever given me.

Now, head over the Velvet Ashes and continue the celebration!

Melissa's Birth Story

When we first found out we were pregnant with Melissa Grace, we expected her to arrive in mid-February. A few months and an ultrasound later, we expected her to be a little later around the beginning of March. We've had most of our children need a "little more time to cook," so we expected that analysis.

 

Melissa Grace surprised us by arriving March 23, five weeks later than our original calculations, but she was worth the wait! I had three weeks of contractions that had this experienced mommy wondering if she knew anything about labor and delivery. Our wonderful midwife, Peggy Peterson, joined our family right at the end of February, and we enjoyed every second of her visit. The children, especially, became attached. God could not have picked a more perfect person to be a permanent part of our life and memories.

On March 23, I woke up a little before 5:00AM with the normal contractions I had been having. No wanting to wake up my Chris, I went to the bathroom and got in the bathtub to relax before starting another day. Within a few minutes, I realized something was different. I could barely call out to Chris who waited with me through one contraction then ran up the stairs to get Peggy. I still wasn't sure if this was the real thing. The warm water in the tub did wonders for the contractions. Chris and Peggy arrived right as Melissa was descending. Peggy caught her sweet head then stepped out of the way for Chris to catch and hand me his sixth born child. Peggy was chuckling and wondering aloud what in the world we had brought her all the way to Cambodia for. Chris and I were marveling over a baby that looked nothing like any of our other children (we still don't know who she looks like) and falling in love. It was 5:17AM - our quickest labor yet! A few minutes later, our dear friend Victoria arrived and began snapping pictures. What a blessing! About 20 minutes later, all of the other children were up. It was an incredible experience to share these moments as a family in the comfort of our home. I have never enjoyed anything more.

The Value of Life

Not long ago, we were driving to our land to check on the construction of our home. The road is one of the few "highways" in the country, so the speed of travel and diversity of vehicles makes my heart race, my hands grab the handholds, and my husband wish the trip could just be over.

A pair of motos came whizzing by us loaded with teenage boys. Oh boy, I thought, we'll see an accident soon. Not two minutes later the view in our windshield was brake lights and the body of a young man cartwheeling through the air.

We came upon the scene, and my husband got out to help as I and the kids prayed. I finally turned around to see some men dragging a badly injured young boy to the side of the road. They left all of the crashed vehicles, but had to get him off the road.

I was stunned. Didn't they know that could injure him further? Why in the world wouldn't they wait for help to move him instead of dragging him by one arm? Then it hit me: he was in more danger on the road than he was from being moved.  Someone could have run over that boy without a second thought. Besides, who was going to come and help him? At times, the value of life in Cambodia is so low I feel hopeless for change.

His friend loaded him onto another moto and another friend jumped on behind. We followed them down the road to a nearby hospital. A nurse was urging him to come in. He wouldn't.

How could he know if the doctor would really help him instead of, at best, give him limited treatment for a huge fee, or, at worst, make him worse so more treatment would be needed. More fees...

We helped as best we would, amazed that the young man was lucid enough to even move. He had not been wearing a helmet, and I couldn't even let myself imagine how hard he had hit the ground.

Finally, we continued on. His mother was on the way.

After surveying the work being done on our house, we were chatting with several villagers when I heard my husband shout at me to grab our son and run! We barely escaped being run over by one of the dump trucks backing up to dump more dirt on the village road. The truck never stopped.

My husband was livid (which means he was frowning - that man has unbelieveable self-control). He calmly spoke with the truck driver, "You could have killed someone."

The driver shrugged and walked off.  I could not believe his indifference. Yet, here it was again: this shocking devaluing of human life. But, why am I surprised?

Don't I see it every day?

In the children being raised by nannies who beat them
In the wives whose husbands are publicly cheating on them
In the factories who refuse to pay a living wage
In the number of men who rape in this country (1 in 4)
In the brothels and massage parlors 
In the brick factories, home to so many slaves
In the buying and selling of children's bodies


Today, a friend posted a music video on Facebook that really spoke to this continually heartbreaking reality. I hope it encourages your heart like it did mine. And, please, please, please continue to pray for God to shine here in Cambodia.

Bluetree Cambodia Music Video

How God Gave Us a Midwife

For our past two births I have wanted a homebirth. Being in Phnom Penh really prohibited that since there was no NICU for problems, and, if the baby had to be evacuated, you have to get a passport which can take up to two days. I was so grateful, however, to travel to Thailand for those two times. We needed that time to unwind, get away, get counseling, and reconnect as a family. Now, our counselor in Thailand has moved back to the States. We don't have enough money to go to Thailand. We really don't have the money for the $2000 hospital birth, and I still cannot feel all that great about the cheaper hospitals. Baby #6 is four or so months away.

Wouldn't you know it?! The hospital near our house is opening the first NICU in the country in January, just a few months before our baby is due. Coicidence? Maybe...

BUT

Here is the email I received from the woman I am communicating with about coming to do a homebirth for us. And let me tell you, it is an amazing story just how we first connected...

" First, a little, background info. Since midwifery is a calling from the LORD  I"ve felt convicted never to advertise my services like most midwives do and instead I depend upon the LORD to send me those He wants me to serve.I, too, feel strongly that I am supposed to be your midwife, here's why. A few weeks before I learned of your desire to have a midwife/homebirth I was in an interview with a couple looking for a midwife. They live right here in Brighton and I really liked them. The whole time we're talking I had this really odd feeling that I didn't fully understand. At the end of the interview they said they were ready to "sign on" and get started with me and I told them "No, I don't think so, I think you should talk to some other midwifes  before you make your decision" and I gave them a couple of names of midwives who live in another community about 45 minutes away. I couldn't believe what I'd just said ( what was I doing, turning away business in my own back yard, in a month when I didn't have any other clients due??) and I'm pretty sure they thought I was a bit on the crazy side! It was the oddest interview I've ever done. The next day they called and said they'd chosen one of the other midwives I'd suggested. After the interview I shared this story with my husband and told him " I think God has something else for me in March". And so He does!"

Coincidence? I think not!

God works things out in His way, in His time, and for His glory. I am so thankful He sometimes lets us see His hand and encourages our hearts. I am so thankful He is confirming our call and paving the way for us to stay in Cambodia despite the obstacles.

How have you seen God's hand in your life recently?

15 Things I Want to Tell My TCKs

Read a great article over at Dijbouti Jones about TCKs. Head over, and check it out! 

~Casey         

15 Things I Want to Tell My TCKs

Family to Family

     God kicked off January with a bucket of blessings for our family, and we're enjoying every single one. Our neighbors hosted a huge New Year's party on New Year's Eve. What a blessing it was to know what to wear, how to act, what to bring, etc. Four years of living here and attending a Khmer party felt like attending an American BBQ. Culture shock really does ease up! I felt similarly on our first family visit of the year. We drove up to Rady's (pictured above) house and felt right at home visiting our dear friends. What a precious experience to love family to family.
     Each day brings work and blessing, and we look forward to all God has in store. May God bless each of you this year!

Matthew Josiah's Birth Story from Chiang Mai

This boy's birth was exciting! We were staying at the wonderful Juniper Tree in Chiang Mai, Thailand and planned on giving birth at Chiang Mai Ram Hospital with Dr. Suppachai who had delivered Melanie Joy. November 16th, I started having fairly strong contractions in the morning, but most daily activities were doable. I really thought that this was the day. By evening the contractions had lessened, and we went to bed. Around three AM, I woke up and told Chris we might need to go to the hospital soon. He rolled over and said, "Uh huh." I am convinced he really wanted to deliver Matthew himself!

By late afternoon the next day following a good deal of arguing, I finally convinced Chris that we could at least get the babysitters to come on over. Those wonderful people arrived, and our three kids forgot we even existed! Still able to smile (Bradley Method says don't go to the hospital until you cannot smile...), I told Chris I did not want to wait another minute. I wanted to get comfortable before the Transition stage. We took our time loading up and saying good-bye. About 5 minutes into our half hour drive, I hit transition with terrible back labor! I was sure this baby was going to be born in the car.

I have a picture like this for every child. He loves them so much!

Somehow, we made it to the hospital, and they wheeled me into the office while Chris parked. After a good 10 minutes (filled with serious contractions!), I succeeded in convincing the nurses I was indeed pregnant. Furious hand-motion-talking later (no one there spoke English) got me to the labor and delivery room. Chris, my hero, arrived and did his best to relieve my back pain as the nurses tried to change my clothes and have me sign papers. All the while I did my best to push Matthew out. I remember thinking, "Ah! This is why people have home birth. I was so comfortable at home. Then I came here!"

Matthew Josiah Allison was born, and he was a beauty. God's blessing of children NEVER gets old or routine. While I was not pleased with the birth experience (signing papers, really?!?!), I would go through just about anything for these wonderful gifts from God.The best part of Matthew's birth was his meeting of Maggie, Melanie, and Marcus - all smiles, all confident baby-holders (even Marcus!).

We are so blessed!!!

A Mother's Cup

Upturned eyes means spilling love

overflowing from upturned hearts

cascading down through generations

a waterfall of His marvelous love

Dripping, trickling, and ever downpouring

as gazes continue to look His way

Filling and refilling the river never ceasing

Such are we: blessed cups of clay

 

"But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those who love me and obey my commands." Exodus 20:6

photo credit: Note @ www.photogapphy.com

Family: Teaching Christ's Love Without Saying a Word

While hanging laundry this morning, I overheard our grandmother next door talking about our family to a young woman. Just to clarify, “overhearing” takes no effort with neighbors in Cambodia. In point of fact, this particular neighbor can hear just about everything we say and do as well. “They have many children, and they are about to have another one” she said. I gathered who she was talking about as I tried to bend over to pick up a rag I had dropped which was proving difficult because I could not see it for my growing stomach. “But they love them so much. They are such beautiful children. Their hearts are full.”

To our shame, we do not always speak gently or calmly to our vivacious children, and grandmother has to know this. I have worried from time to time about the validity of our witness when she has most certainly heard an outburst of anger from me over spilled sugar or pancake mix in the bathroom. It really is amazing what a kid can think to do with a bidet and a bit of flour.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. I Cor. 12:9. Thankfully, God works on our hearts daily, washing us of selfishness and any number of shortcomings.


Through His power and despite our weaknesses, we could have no greater witness for Christ's love than our family. In this culture and context, our family speaks volumes to all we meet. I am just now able to start seeing and understanding how our friends, neighbors, and perfect strangers view us, and I have felt compelled to share how the Christian family in Cambodia and in any country in the world can bless the nations through their witness because the Christian family is different.

First play in the rain

Khmer families struggle with the same sins that rot our families in America, just in different ways. One of the most obvious struggles seems to be that of favoritism: preferring one child over another. We are often asked which child we sleep with (which translates into which child do you love the most) and which child we think is more beautiful or clever. We have fended off these questions, shielded our children, praised them equally, and even contradicted what people have said while our quizzical friends have looked on wondering what all the fuss was about, even going so far as to call out their own children to demonstrate to us how to compare. Through God's grace, after two and a half years, people are praising our children equally and have quit criticizing them all together. We are different because we love without discretion (Galatians 3:28). Our neighbors know this not because we have told them Jesus said so, but because they have see how we love our children.

Anywhere from one to six men sit outside our gate every day on their motos available to taxi someone to market or wherever else they might choose to go. Chris has learned a lot from and about these men, and the favorite topic...their adulterous relationships. I'll be honest: it has been very difficult for me to treat these men with respect knowing what they are doing to their families in full view of their wives, children, and peers. I have had to “count to ten” a few times as they have offered to help Chris find a girlfriend. Smiling but firm, Chris has modeled fidelity to these men by coming home before dark day after day (these men know our comings and goings quite well, and I am pretty sure they have figured out that I go somewhere with A/C as soon as the power goes out). Now, our moto taxi drivers tease Chris about his girlfriend when they see us going out together, and that girlfriend is me! They know we are different because we are faithful (Matt. 19:4-6), and they have not heard a single sermon on keeping wedding vows.

We LOVE babies!

Our growing family has not only left our American friends scratching their heads but also our Khmer friends. Nongovernmental organizations have proven very effective here in reducing the birth rate and in proliferating the view that children are a burden, something that keeps you from happiness or being able to buy that Lexus (the ultimate status symbol in our capital city of Phnom Penh). For most of our neighbors, taking preventative measures for pregnancy has little to do with monetary poverty and a whole lot to do with spiritual poverty. The shocked look that crosses people's faces when we tell them we care for the children ourselves and would love for God to give us more is a great practice in self-control. I have been known to burst out laughing at the incredulity. When our neighbors see Chris taking a child or two to work or to pay bills, when we take our kids to the playground on Saturdays, when we accept more children from our Father, people see we are different because our children are a blessing to us (Ps. 127:3-5). We really do not eve have to mention this fact because it is evident in our actions. 

As we consider these things and so many more, we realize how, despite our shortcomings in ministry, our struggling and fledgling attempts to reach the hardened hearts of our dear ones here, God has been working hard by speaking through the differences in our family. I cannot tell you how many wistful looks from women when they see the way Chris treats me or the way I hug my sweet children have led to conversations about our own weaknesses and Christ's amazing power. My neighbors do not doubt my humanity, but, to them, our family expresses the supernatural – and they want to know how to be different, too. Our continued prayer for our family and yours is that God will continue to keep us from conforming to the culture around us (the world) and continue being a light in the darkness through the powerful witness of the Christian family. May He make your neighbors talk about you and keep your hearts full!


Casey M. Allison
Missionary Wife and Mother in Phnom Penh, Cambodia

Midwifery at Christmas

After having a wonderful and blessed natural pregnancy and childbirth with Marcus as well as finally taking the time to learn about all the amazing ways God reveals himself through the process of childbirth (why didn't I learn all this before? Oh, well. The third time is the charm!), I started seeking the Lord on how I could serve Him here in Cambodia through midwifery. I spoke with an NGO who said it was one of the biggest health needs in the country, especially as it relates  to prenatal care. I spoke to a midwife who said I knew enough to do prenatal care and should get started. Finally, I found someone who had an extra supply of prenatal vitamins. The vitamins sat on the shelf for a month, my ideas and plans became less exciting, and I settled into my role at helpmeet and homemaker following our furlough. Then, my dear friend, Rady, became pregnant. You can see that amazing story here and begin praying please! I walked down the dirt road with a sack of prenatal vitamins and now I have three "clients!" I told them I wouldn't be able to give them more vitamins. I said I could teach them a few things about prenatal care and listen to their concerns. I explicitly told them I was not a professional even though I could point them to professional help. I even asked them if they could help me understand Khmer culture as it relates to child-bearing.

God, not me, has made this happen. The Author of Life has given each of these women a chance to see Him through this experience, and I am so honored He has chosen to use me as a tool. Would you pray for this ministry, for the women's physical and spiritual health and that of their children?

I can hardly wait to share the stories (after I learn a bit more vocabulary and how to manage checkups with three little ones in tow!) of Mary, of Jesus being more in a stable, of the King who would become a babe to be our Saviour! What a blessing to remember, to know, this season the beautiful truth of Life.

Bed Rest

It was just last week with the heat and constant contractions that I was longing to just stay in the bed in our air-conditioned room. When the doctor ordered bed rest for a week, I'll admit, I was relieved. Well, by the end of day one I could hardly stand it! Bored, sore, and listening from a distance to my girls and husband laughing together almost drove me out of bed...almost. I did some research on how to improve bed rest time and made myself a schedule of sorts. As tomorrow is my first official day to slowly get out of bed, I am thanking the Lord for providing me time to do all I got to do! He knew we needed time to plan our furlough extensively, and now it is done! Besides all the work I got to do, baby Marcus Christopher is healthy and well. I'm so thankful the Lord is in charge, and I am not.

Birth Control and the Lordship of God

The Quiverfull Movement is having an impact on mainstream Christianity. Non-Christians and Christians alike are saying its adherents are ludicrous, radical. As referred to in my last blog, I am becoming more and more interested in ideas the world calls ludicrous and radical, strange and odd.

A theme that we have recently been studying, praying, and learning about is the Lordship of Christ, especially as it relates to Christian community and meetings. Questions we ask are as follows: How is Christ the center focus and Lord of our church meetings? Does any man-made role or organization conflict with His Lordship over our times of Christian fellowship? Do our cultural traditions and beliefs conflict with the principles Christ laid out for His church?

So what is the link between these two ideas? Lordship! As we contemplate our family size we are asking these questions: How is Christ the Lord of our family size? Does any man-made idea conflict with His principles for our family size?

The answer to that second question is very clear to us. When we look closely at ourselves and beliefs about family size, we realize deeply held beliefs we had not even realized were there:

Human conception of time and circumstance is the best judge of when to have a child (waiting until after both spouses have master's degrees, waiting until there is a significant amount of wealth_

Human reasoning is another thing to consider when considering family size (desire for freedom and not the restraint of children, etc; having lots of children is irresponsible for economic and environmental reasons)

Basically, we realized we have always believed in a worldly, selfish way that we were lords over our family size. We believed, as taught by Christians and non-Christians, that we should be "responsible," using birth control and considering our situation through worldly eyes as we decided when or if to have children then when or if to have more.

Well, God has brought us a long way so far. We have learned to take Him at His Word:

He alone opens and closes the womb (Melanie was conceived while using birth control).

Children ARE a blessing!

Most forms of birth control have the possibility of being abortive (the Pill, for one)and should not be used by Christians. Life is sacred, and He knows us before we were even conceived.

The bottom line: God alone knows best how big a family size should be for each individual family. Selfishness and worldly wisdom should not play a factor in determining family size nor should worldly contraceptives. We can trust Christ's Lordship in our family size.

What does that mean practically for our family? No, we are not Quiverfull. Yes, we are Christian! We do not view our children as burdens or inconveniences or interruptions in our lives. We believe they are a blessing, and we trust that God will not bless us until we are begging Him to stop. =) We do believe God gives us a choice in our family size, but instead of checking whether another child would disrupt any plans we have for our own lives and happiness, we will seek Him first, asking that the Holy Spirit will reveal to us whether it is the Lord's time for another blessing to our family (as opposed to seeking reasons not to have another baby). Finally, we will use only non-abortive methods of birth control.

The Christian walk is one of growth, a different journey for each soul. We're thankful the Lord is working hard in our lives to teach and grow us despite pressures and influence from the world. It is our prayer for you as well.

Further reading:
http://www.christianity.com/Home/Christian%20Living%20Features/11605806/print/
*comprehensive but we don't necessarily agree with it all.

http://multiplyandreplenish.blogspot.com/search/label/The%20Case%20Against%20Birth%20Control
*Quiverfull essay

http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2007/03/is-birth-control-sin/
*Has a really good response to the article

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Articles/ByDate/2006/1440_Does_the_Bible_permit_birth_control/